Dilemmas yet again at Frazzle Towers, why? Mr F wants an alpaca and not just any old alpaca he wants this one
And if that isn’t bad enough he has already given it a name….. Jock and how did I find out? he announced it on twitter, no Mr F, I don’t think twitter is the best place to announce to your wife you’ve bought an alpaca.
Now those of you that know me will be aware I already have an assortment of dependants, humans and animals and for those that don’t,
I have 3 emo’s who will think its cute until it bottom burps, spits or has a poo then it will be the most disgusting smelly thing on earth. We had the same issues with the guinea pig. Parents be warned getting you’re kids a pet to try to teach them responsibility…….. it doesn’t work, been there got the t-shirt and been bitten for my troubles.
2 dogs, Bert the boxer who is mad as a box of frogs, he happens to be ginger too. Bert will try to box it. Lulu the British Bulldog who is sort of gingerish, she happens to be the most active bulldog on the planet and has made it her life’s mission to stalk everything in the garden or fields, be it a leaf, butterfly or her current obsession is the squirrels, anyway needless to say Lulu will try to eat it.
Dinks the cat, well bless him he is poorly and quite frankly wont give a flying fig.
The horses, they don’t get on with alpacas and if it’s anything like the time they met a donkey well it will be carnage, they are still traumatised by the meeting.
And Dad, well Dad will just think its an overgrown sheep.
Why he wants one I have no feking idea, you can’t eat it, ride or really do much with it apart from clip it and sell the wool. I suppose that will be left to me too as I clip the horses.
Now I already have to get up at stupid o’clock before work to do the horses, walk the dogs and feed the cat so I am assuming I will now have to add another half an hour to do the ginger thing. One more problem looming, I know that they are not solitary animals and I know Mr F knows this so either he is thinking of buying 2 and probably calling them Jock and Taff or Jock and Paddy or worse still he will get a goat as a companion. Now I had goats as a child and quite frankly the damn things are a pain in the arriss, always escaping and they eat everything. So needless to say I dare not ask what companion Jock will have.
The locals will think I’ve finally lost the plot not that they think I had the plot in the first place, they already think Im mad what with the boxing boxer dog, the fuggly bulldog that hates busses and the horses with donkey issues, so when they see me walking an assortment of ginger animals in the dark wearing my pj’s, wooly hat and wellies with a humming alpaca plus companion in tow I will be given an even wider birth than normal.
If someone out there wants to adopt me please, please, please come and get me