Life really does go backwards at 40

An ode to emo 3

on June 24, 2012

I can’t believe that she will be 16 tomorrow…

I started in labour at 6.00 in the morning, one twang and I thought hey up we are off. Having had 2 other children and not long labours but around 6 – 7 hours I thought I would have plenty of time so I decided to get up, shower and hit the ironing pile.

Ironing away at 7.00 and the pains started to get stronger so time to get everyone up and ready for the off. 7.45 kids dropped off at the child minder and I’m on my way to the hospital.  8.15 I’m on the labour ward trying to explain I need to push. I’m rushed to a room and at 8.22 as I am trying to get on the bed emo 3 enters the world like a bat out of hell…….

Emo 3 weighed in at 9.10, not what you would call a small baby but not as big as emo 1 who weighed in at 10.7, emo 3 started as she meant to go on……

As a baby she slept all night but during the day demanded attention all the time. As a toddler she was into everything and had no fear of anything. When she started school she was always in the middle of everything be it good or bad, many times I was called in to see her teacher because she had pushed someone or her favourite trick was to wind someone up and just stand back with her arms crossed watching the situation unfold. Every year she managed to get one of the lead roles in the school play, it would appear she loved to perform and would belt out songs chosen for the plays.

Emo 3 was keen on sports, running, long jump, rugby and horses were her passion. She wasn’t what you would call a girly girl. Most weekends she could be found bareback on a pony jumping whatever she met and belting out a song, no fear for her or her pony. She once jumped off the top bunk and landed eye first on a radiator, how she managed that one I still have no idea but had a massive black eye which she was rather proud of. She received a broken cheek during a rugby match and carried on regardless and she broke her ankle falling off her pony but it didn’t stop her getting up and getting back on. I was always in A&E and fortunately because I was a nurse and knew the staff I escaped the interrogation that a lot of parents are faced with when their child is injured.

I’m not really sure what happened but she went from being Mrs Moon face to Evil Lyn overnight at the age of 10.

So at the age of 10 everything stopped, no interest in sport or ponies.

The last 6 years can only be described as bleeding awful. I look back to how I was at her age and there is no comparison at all, I helped my Mum as much as possible and she certainly didn’t have to ask more than once.

Emo 3 has a nack for sarcasm but cannot take it when its thrown back at her. She has the weirdest dress sense and looks like a tramp and as for her hair it was orange it’s now mucky white and is soon to be baby blue. If you havent read my post ‘my emo just blew up the microwave’ in emos then have a look to see how ham-fisted she is.

Emo 3 has just taken her last exam and in her mind has no need for a GCSE in history so what does she do she excels herself by drawing a bonfire on her exam paper and writing the following ditty,

Build a bonfire, build a bonfire

Put my Milfy on the top

Put my ginger sister and tarty brother in the middle

And set fire to the bleeding lot

I receive a call from her school to advise of her latest stunt and quite frankly I don’t know what to say anymore however middle emo gets wind of the ginger comment and flips.

My house became a scene from Baghdad, middle emo has taken it upon herself to teach emo 3 a lesson…….

Middle emo in a rage, she has picked up the first thing she found which happens to be a plastic spatula and attacked emo 3. I am slightly relieved that she didn’t use a rolling-pin or a frying pan as the spatula appears to have come off worst. Middle emo has taken one set of hair extensions and tried to flush them down the loo, the other set have been thrown out of the window and run over several times. Various pairs of emo 3’s shoes are festooned from trees in the garden and some of her clothes appear to be in next doors pond. CD’s are smashed, make up is emptied and as her last part of revenge middle emo has taken a pair of scissors to emo 3’s random assortment of bracelets and now feels revenged by her actions. Me, well Mr F and I took refuge at Dads and left them to it.

I have no idea what will become of emo 3, she is going on to study A levels, well that’s if the school will still take her, her chosen subjects, politics, photography, french, english and journalism. She will probably turn out to be the next Kate Aide however it is very unlikely she will be reporting on troubles more likely she will be the cause of them.


Oh how I miss you Mrs Moon 😦


9 responses to “An ode to emo 3

  1. TammyeHoney says:

    Might I suggest the Serenity Prayer for You…It actually got me through my days with my Emos and made life a little easier…

  2. Marie says:

    God I feel for you, woman! Got 4 myself, the eldest having turned 16 today.

    Bloody awful age!!!

    Marie x

  3. Ruth2Day says:

    if nothing else life at home for you is entertaining! 🙂 I feel for you.

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