Life really does go backwards at 40

I am addicted and I know it……….

To what I hear you ask?

Sparkly things?….No




HOOVERS, yes I did say hoovers!

I currently have 9 in my collection ranging from,

Dyson upright, Dyson cylinder pet, Vax, Hoover Cylinder, Henry, Bissell, Miele, Black & Decker garden vac and my latest addition is a Black & Decker hand held dust buster called Horace, yes they all do have names!

Yesterday Mr F announced he was pulling the kitchen apart to fit a masshoosive fridge he had purchased. These words went straight over my head, I do not care because I was going hoover shopping, do what you will……..


Horace has been purchased purely for the stairs being that we have 26 stairs in our house and the traffic up and down them, 2 adults, 3 Emos + guests, 2 dogs, 1 cat and the occasional oap create nothing but dust!

Before any of you start shouting bejeezus the woman’s gone mad there are lots of things you can do with a hoover other than clean carpets, floors and stairs!

1, Board games, when things get tense be it a kids or adult/emo game, whip the hoover out and suck the flipping lot up, there argument over and problem solved.

2, Haircuts, hover with the nozzle strategically placed to catch all the hair.

3, Pets, great for grooming horses, dogs, cats and depending which one you use they get a massage too.

4, Snow, no more scraping the car or drive, get the Vax out for this job, snow, what snow?

5, Hedge trimmings, get the garden vac out and hoover those bushes

6, Awakening of the emo’s, just hoover their heads.

7, Oap’s who make a mess can easily be de crumbed without moving them

The list of uses for a hoover Is endless.

Okay so I maybe slightly odd but I am not hurting anyone, am I?